forums | blogs | polls | tutorials | downloads | rules | help

Don't get saucy with *me*, Cranberry!

kathycf's picture

Cranberry Sauce. A deep purplish red log that slithers out of the can with a gentle "squich" sound that simply says "Thanksgiving" (to me, anyway. If cranberry sauce starts speaking to you, seek medical advice).

None of this fancy shmancy "whole berry" crap either. Yich. Or even worse, some gourmet home made "ginger and clove" concoction that someone like Martha Stewart would dream up.

Nope. The good stuff comes from a can of Ocean Spray cranberry sauce. There simply is no other purveyor of cranberry based products, especially jellied cranberry goop in a can than Ocean Spray. Also, I don't mean "goop" in a mean way either. I mean it with love. Well, not love, but certainly affection, or at least a mild fondness.

I wondered why cranberry sauce was actually called a sauce, considering it is more of a goopy type food. The dictionary defines sauce (noun) as:

Definition of sauce
1 : a condiment or relish for food; especially : a fluid dressing or topping
2 : something that adds zest or piquancy
3 : stewed fruit eaten with other food or as a dessert
4 : pert or impudent language or actions

Definition of sauce
sauced; saucing
transitive verb
1 a : to dress with relish or seasoning
b : to cover or serve with a sauce
2 a archaic : to modify the harsh or unpleasant characteristics of
b : to give zest or piquancy to

And here I thought sauced meant drunk, like 'Kathy sure can't hold her liquor, she got sauced off one glass of wine." Did you think sauced meant drunk too? Well, now we all know better. You're welcome!

I originally meant to write a blog describing all the falsehoods and whoha that surrounds Thanksgiving, but I chose not to. That doesn't mean all those falsehoods and whatever-hoopla are unimportant, but why ruin my Cranberry Sauce Day. So I decided not to be gloomy but instead to be sauced. Off of half a glass of wine, if I'm being honest.

So whatever "Thanksgiving" means to you (even if it's just another Thursday) I wish you happiness and much sauce.

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
kathycf's picture

The Cranberries have had to cancel tours scheduled for this past summer and fall, due to singer Dolores O'Riordan's back problems.

The Cranberries "Dream" Oh nineties, I miss you so...

My mother tried making cranberry sauce at home one year. My father was on his anti-sugar kick and so she did not use enough sweetener. The result was this sour mush of semi-whole cranberries "crammed" Tongue in a bowl. My dad should have had to eat all that goop since it was his fault, but oh well. I have never tried to make my own cranberry sauce because I think the canned stuff really is much better, your mileage may vary.

Bare Elf could not gather cranberries unless she lives in a bog with access to lots of water and a particular soil composition. Local Mass growers have had problems the last few years with their cranberry crops, particularly because of drought CBS, Boston.

Although commercial cranberry cultivation began in Massachusetts in 1816, the Wampanoag people across southeastern Massachusetts have enjoyed the annual harvest of "sasumuneash" for hundreds of years.
Cranberries were valued for their nutrition as well as for medical purposes and apparently made a spiffy dye.

Cranberry fun facts!
November 22 is National Cranberry relish day.
The cranberry became the Massachusetts state berry in 1994. Shock
Wow, such super fun! I did not know either of these fun facts!

So, I guess I could go on, but I've managed to nearly put myself to sleep gathering the previous FUN (kinda boring) FACTS!! Tired

For me, the best way to

For me, the best way to "make" any kind of berry "sauce" is to mash up several quarts of berries in mixing container, add 4 gallons of distilled water, a hearty yeast, 10 to 15 lbs of honey, mix well, transfer to 5 gallon Carboy allow proper fermentation then transfer to bottles

Party Big smile Dwarf

To really count as your own making ...

... shouldn't you use berries that you've picked yourself, either from your own backyard or from the wild?

Of course they don't have to be cranberries, not for cram-berry sauce: whatever you find and cram in.

Kathy, I'll accept cranberry sauce is a "relish or condiment" as per the dictionary.

Greetings (of the day after Thanksgiving) from a land where turkeys get to live another month later.

bare_elf's picture
Cram Berry Sauce

How to make the sauce that Kathy is talking about.

The items you will need

Several 16 oz Deep Tin Container with Clear Top Cover or Mason Jar of the same size.

Mortar and pestle of ceramic or metal

5 pounds of cranberries (one pound per container)

10 ounces of a structural heteropolysaccharide (such as pectin)

1 pound of confectioners sugar

How to make

Divide the cranberries, sugar and pectin into five equal parts

mash the cranberries using the mortar and pestle until smooth

add the sugar and mix until totally incorporated into cranberry goo.

add the structural heteropolysaccharide

cram the mixture into the container (keep pushing until packed tight.

attach lid

refrigerate until totally congealed. Then you will have something closely akin to the ocean spray product and at a higher cost and greater effort. But at least you can tell people you made the sauce yourself.

Alternate method

Using a can of the Ocean Spray product and a Mason Jar transfer the Ocean Spray product to Mason Jar and tell people you made it your self.