Useless Armor

I have a full set of DS1 armor, Boots Gloves, helm and body armor for someone who has never played the game or just puts stuff on because it looks nice.
This is the Body Armor - read the template carefully for a giggle or two.

[t:template,n:n00b]
{
  doc = "n00b";
  specializes = base_body_armor_cloth;
  [common]
  {
    screen_name = "Stupid n00b";
  }
  [defend]
  {
    armor_style = numb_nuts;
    armor_type = a1;
    f defense = 1250.000000;
  }
  [gui]
  {

    //equip_requirements = dumb_ass:1;
    inventory_height = 2;
    inventory_icon = b_gui_ig_i_a_pos_a1_stupid;
    inventory_width = 2;
  }
  [magic]
  {
    [enchantments]
    {

      [*]
      {
      alteration = alter_life_recovery_unit;
      description = "-30 to Life Regeneration";
      duration = #infinite;
      is_permanent = true;
      is_single_instance = false;
      value = -20;
      }
    }
  }
}
[t:template,n:n00b-1]
{
  doc = "n00b One";
  specializes = base_body_armor_cloth;
  [common]
  {

    screen_name = "OMG I have no shirt";
  }
  [defend]
  {
    armor_style = no_shirt;
    armor_type = a1;
    f defense = 120.000000;
  }
  [gui]
  {
    //equip_requirements = empty_head:1;
    equip_requirements = strength:15,dexterity:15,intelligence:15;
    inventory_height = 2;
    inventory_icon = b_gui_ig_i_a_pos_a1_stupid;
    inventory_width = 2;
  }
  [magic]
  {
    pcontent_level = 15;
    [enchantments]
    {
      [*]
      {
      alteration = alter_ARMOR;
      description = "Subtracts from Armor Depending on Strength";
      duration = #infinite;
      is_permanent = true;
      is_single_instance = false;
      value = (((#str)*(-2))-1);
      }
      [*]
      {
      alteration       = alter_intelligence;
      description     = "Subtracts 5 from Intelligence";
      duration       = #infinite;
      is_permanent     = true;
      is_single_instance   = false;
      value       = -5;
      }
      [*]
      {
      alteration      = alter_MELEE;
      description      = "Reduces Melee skill by half";
      value = 0.5;
      multiply_value = true;
      duration      = #infinite;
      is_permanent    = true;
      is_single_instance  = false;
      }
      [*]
      {
      alteration       = alter_nature_magic;
      duration      = #infinite;
      description      = "Reduces Nature Magic skill by half";
      value = 0.5;
      multiply_value = true;
      is_permanent    = true;
      is_single_instance  = false;
      }
      [*]
      {
      alteration       = alter_combat_magic;
      duration      = #infinite;
      description      = "Reduces Combat Magic skill by half";
      value = 0.5;
      multiply_value = true;
      is_permanent    = true;
      is_single_instance  = false;
      effect_script_equip   = dam_tip_15_lbl;
      effect_script_hit     = hit_flash_10_lbl;
      }
    }
  }
}

Hope you like it