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Hrmm, dating apps are everywhere it seems

kathycf's picture

I know it must be easier to at least meet people online and try dating, unlike years ago when you had to actually seek out places that a person with the qualities you are looking for might be. (Was that a run on sentence? I think it was a run on sentence). But maybe I should stop living in 1997 and see what I can do to earn some money. Judging by advertisements, there seems to be a huge school of fish in the sea, just waiting to hook that special someone.

Love Innocent

So for whomever is interested, here is a new dating app that I am working on. I
.

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bare_elf's picture
Al and Anna useful dates.

If you find these people in the Dungeon Siege Dating App. They might be useful. Smile

Al Timiter - is very good at keeping track of how high you get. Wink

Anna Wrecksic - The poster girl for the ultra thin. Does not eat much so it will not cost very much to take her out. Smile Although she is very playful, she is easily damaged so not to ruff Big smile

Tongue Laughing out loud

Elf

Actually,

kathycf wrote:
I think I like the term "Masshat" better than Masshole. Here is what Urban Dictionary user Matt_GuyFace has to say:
Quote:
A Masshat is someone from Massachusetts that is foolishly proud of their sports, illegal driving habits, chowder, world class education system they don't contribute to and their big mouth. Many Masshats use a Boston accent they don't actually have when they've been drinking and will frequently say "I paked the ca in the Havad yad".

Hmm. Seems like Mr GuyFace is a little salty... Sad Sad

He also forgot his "H"s. The correct pronunciation is "pahk the cah in Hahvahd Yahd" One always drops the R and uses H instead. To wit: "That chowdah I got at the Pat's game was wicked good but hot. I shoved it into my big mouth too fast, it wicked buhns. Too bad Becky couldn't come to see the Pats but she was busy wastin' her world class education that she received at Hahvahd."

I like that hon/hun come back, sig, but I would never waste dessert throwing it in someone's face. Unless it was something gross like Lemon Meringue pie. Sick *shudder*

It was HIS dessert Wink Big smile

kathycf's picture
Masshat

I think I like the term "Masshat" better than Masshole. Here is what Urban Dictionary user Matt_GuyFace has to say:

Quote:
A Masshat is someone from Massachusetts that is foolishly proud of their sports, illegal driving habits, chowder, world class education system they don't contribute to and their big mouth. Many Masshats use a Boston accent they don't actually have when they've been drinking and will frequently say "I paked the ca in the Havad yad".

Hmm. Seems like Mr GuyFace is a little salty... Sad Sad

He also forgot his "H"s. The correct pronunciation is "pahk the cah in Hahvahd Yahd" One always drops the R and uses H instead. To wit: "That chowdah I got at the Pat's game was wicked good but hot. I shoved it into my big mouth too fast, it wicked buhns. Too bad Becky couldn't come to see the Pats but she was busy wastin' her world class education that she received at Hahvahd."

I like that hon/hun come back, sig, but I would never waste dessert throwing it in someone's face. Unless it was something gross like Lemon Meringue pie. Sick *shudder*

Dulac's picture
My home state is guilty of

My home state is guilty of calling you guys massholes. It's often said jokingly but sometimes in anger. I think people from Mass. are friendlier than the people are where I'm from. I think they suck, lol. I've given up women for code. Got out of a 7 year relationship 8 months ago. Not going through that again until I forget how much pain it causes.

bare_elf's picture
I forget too siggy

sigofmugmort1 wrote:
since I have forgotten names even while being introduced i try to always use their name (and make sure the lady knows i am bad with names Big smile ) I use whatever term the other uses first

The best response to the term "Hon" was "I'm Scotish not a German Barbarian" followed by her dessert to his face Laughing out loud Laughing out loud

Insane Dwarf

I forget people's names all the time. I explain right off to people it is because I am blond and therefore an air head with a slow leak. I ask people that when they say anything to me to include their first name as the first word of their comment. Something like this. My name is Rob, what would you like for dinner? That way I could reply What do you recommend Rob?

Insane Laughing out loud Insane Laughing out loud

Elf

bare_elf's picture
Not wicked

kathycf wrote:
Not gonna lie, I would have stayed on a dinner date just to have a nice meal. I know, it seems like a mean thing to do, but if the guy is a jerk and I'm really hungry...I'm only human, you know! Sad Tongue

You are not wicked Kathy you are actually smart. Get a free nice meal just having to listen and look at a dork for an hour or so. I was stupid for not staying for the dinner after the guy called me babe. Angry I guess it would not have be so bad to listen to him talk about him self for the length of the dinner. That way I would not have to tell him anything about me. Wink

Elf

kathycf's picture
Wicked, amiright?

Yup, I am what is (affectionately ??? ) known as a "Masshole" and thus condemned by the inferior (hahaha) states about "our" bad driving. I will say this though, I have never, ever received a speeding ticket. Innocent

I just dislike the whole calling dates "babe" each and every time the guy speaks or doing something similar to that. It just seems disrespectful like -"Pssh, I can't be bothered to learn your name" or "I'm dating 3 girls so I'mma call them all babe." I guess if someone has memory problems that's different though.

I'm actually relieved that this dating stuff is over. Between my ex-husband and I breaking up and my current boyfriend...Well, it was not a very fun time. I can get the dates easy enough, the hard part is what the hell to talk about? I can muddle through a short-ish conversation, but sometimes those ensuing silences seem awfully long. Gack!

Not gonna lie, I would have stayed on a dinner date just to have a nice meal. I know, it seems like a mean thing to do, but if the guy is a jerk and I'm really hungry...I'm only human, you know! Sad Tongue

I'm bad with names

since I have forgotten names even while being introduced i try to always use their name (and make sure the lady knows i am bad with names Big smile ) I use whatever term the other uses first

The best response to the term "Hon" was "I'm Scotish not a German Barbarian" followed by her dessert to his face Laughing out loud Laughing out loud

Insane Dwarf

Darkelf's picture
this kind of reminds me of my

this kind of reminds me of my time in star wars the old republic....my companions were given gifts of affection the more gifts the more they like u. eventually they can marry u...but u could also do bad and make them hate u.....

Dulac's picture
Everything is an app.

Everything is an app. Unfortunately I've picked this term up from web development and call everything an app. I didn't know you're from Mass. Kathy. Wicked pissah. I'm originally from CT and moved to the South. Hmm, I call women pet names I've picked up in the South. They respond well to it. I don't say babe though. Sounds stupid.

Edit: I have the skills to make us a dungeon siege dating app, but we lack people Sad . I also wouldn't use it. The male to female ratio on dating apps is awful.

bare_elf's picture
I was called babe once...

I was out on a blind date and after it was over I wanted to poke my eyes out. The guy was really cute and we went to a really upscale eatery, where most things on the menu where priced like BMWs. Things were going nicely when he said "Hey Babe, what do you like to do in your free time. I gave him a cold stare and said "My name is not Ruth and I do not play baseball so if you call me babe again..." Then I stuck the steak knife into the table and walked out...
Elf

kathycf's picture
No worries, Chicken George

ChickenGeorge wrote:
kathycf wrote:
Club is also handy for clubbing jerks over the head. Not that I would do such a thing. Innocent Tongue

Yes it does. Looking back I guess head clubbing sounds misogynistic. I'm sorry for that.
I didn't mean it as such. Should have put more thought into it. Please forgive me.

A dungeon siege dating app is a wonderful idea.

I didn't think you meant anything bad with your comment and was not offended in the least. I was just goofing on the idea of clubbing "bad" dates over the head.

Especially the ones who repeatedly call me "babe" or say "hey babe" as well as any other variations on the word Babe such as "babealicious". I usually say something like "Sir, I am not the fruit of your loins, nor a cuddly piglet from that 90's movie. I am not your Babe!" Or I am less formal and yell "Oi! Eyes up here Mister Man!!"

Smile Wink

ChickenGeorge's picture
Yes it does.

kathycf wrote:
Club is also handy for clubbing jerks over the head. Not that I would do such a thing. Innocent Tongue

Yes it does. Looking back I guess head clubbing sounds misogynistic. I'm sorry for that.
I didn't mean it as such. Should have put more thought into it. Please forgive me.

A dungeon siege dating app is a wonderful idea.

kathycf's picture
Club is also handy for

Club is also handy for clubbing jerks over the head. Not that I would do such a thing. Innocent
Tongue

ChickenGeorge's picture
Head Clubber

Head Clubber. And when you want to contact you can have a little club hit the contact button.
But siege the date sounds coolest.

kathycf's picture
This is true

ghastley wrote:
Dwarves may all look male, but those beards are deceptive.

I think the balding dwarves are the guys. I wouldn't check any further than beards, though. Those short folk pack a wallop!

Underground

bare_elf wrote:
Darkelf wrote:
feels sorry for the dwarves, half giants., and dryads they have no one to date

Not altogether true DE, This adventurer would date them. Wink I would even go to dinner and a movie with a goblin. Smile I wonder if you can get a wood chip in someplace incontinent from a dryad or catch termites! Puzzled

Now where did I leave that Dwarf

Elf

Dwarves are short so look down Tongue

Don't worry abought termites, it's the Wood Mites and bracken

Dwarf

ghastley's picture
Dwarves

Dwarves may all look male, but those beards are deceptive.

bare_elf's picture
Not altogether true DE

Darkelf wrote:
feels sorry for the dwarves, half giants., and dryads they have no one to date

Not altogether true DE, This adventurer would date them. Wink I would even go to dinner and a movie with a goblin. Smile I wonder if you can get a wood chip in someplace incontinent from a dryad or catch termites! Puzzled

Now where did I leave that Dwarf

Elf

Darkelf's picture
feels sorry for the dwarves,

feels sorry for the dwarves, half giants., and dryads they have no one to date

bare_elf's picture
I like your spin on things...

For the most part Kathy I like your spin on things. I must think about (after a very large bowl of Espresso) opening an "ADVENTURER EXFOLIATION STATION" somewhere in Ehb. Wink

However having to be polite and not jump on objects of my desire without first saying something polite worries me. Puzzled So comments like "I like your bat and balls" or "I like the way you swing your bat" while standing in the men's shower after a baseball game would not be right. Sad Commenting to the farmer while swimming in a lake "That is a very nice egg plant you have there" would also be wrong. Puzzled

Oh well such is life in the Kingdom of Ehb Tongue

Elf

kathycf's picture
No, no. You have put a positive spin on it

Sand doesn't remove skin, it exfoliates helping to create a smooth complexion. Exfoliation is super important and one needs to get a hold of the best products. Find a really back to nature Nature Mage to brew you up some special potions and to research the right sort of "wellness" spells for you. Remember, it's important to emphasize the word Wellness, apparently it's the thing to say in these situations.

There's no excuse for skimping over health and beauty care, no one cares about dumb excuses. "There aren't any bathrooms except for the goblins!" OR "Oh, I'm busy out saving the world, wah wah wah." Get over the goblin's prying little eyes and remember...the world can wait, an adventurer's beauty regimen just CAN'T! That goes double for men! (I don't know why, I just felt like being "controversial").

Touching back on the subject of dating for a moment, remember there's certain rules of etiquette:

Don't literally climb onto the object of your affections, no matter how much you may want to "hit that".
.

.
Don't openly gawk at an attractive person, it really pisses them off. Especially if you have a stupid look on your face. To catch a potential mate's attention, try to think of something charming and subtle, even if you don't know what those words mean.
.

bare_elf's picture
There is always sand and a lake

I guess when the adventurer gets really stinky and grimy they could find a lake with a sandy beach, remove their armor. Jump in the lake then rub themselves down with sand and then rinse off. That should remove the grime, stench and possibly some skin. Removing some skin should not be a problem since armor tends to rub you raw even when you wear a leather jerkin. (I know this from experience). Wink

Then to you could always have a nature mage in your party that could not only have healing spells but a remove armor spell, a remove stink spell, and a remove grime spell. Tongue

Also there could be two new potion types. A de-stink potion and a de-grim potion Insane

Just a few ideas for shiny squeaky clean adventurers. Smile

Elf

kathycf's picture
Goblin Technology

Goblins in Dungeon Siege are more technologically advanced then the other inhabitants of Ehb, so that's probably why they have a bathroom. As for the treasure being stored there, the gobbos may have book smarts but little common sense. Who knows what really goes through those little green brains? Visions of Sugar Plums? I think not. Tongue

Our adventurers might never need to poop, but I kind of think they could use a bath every so often. Running around in plate or leather for days on end would have to make a person pretty rank. I guess the mages would be okay since they could use spells to whisk away the grime, but those melee types must sweat like crazy. Oh well, the life of an adventurer can never be easy I guess, such a burden to bear. Wink

Goblins' loo

The goblins in Ehb do have what I reckon is a grand communal bathroom, complete with steaming hot running water. They must be proud of it because it is also where they stored some of their best treasure. (How peculiar.)

Our adventurers, of course, never need to poop because they hardly ever eat solid food (as a villager in Elddim once remarked on), getting all their nourishment from potions instead.

kathycf's picture
Ooh!

Ooh! I want both a toilet paper roll to throw at enemies and a matching shield. Preferably 2 ply, for extra shieldy power.

DE, you played WoW. Did you read the forums? People would post the same types of questions every so often about the bio issue, partly because Blizzard does enjoy giving out the occasional (sometimes more than occasional) Stare poop quest. Or they used to anyway, I haven't played for a couple of years.

Amberpine Lodge... Shock

Alrighty then. On *that* note, I'm going to go wash my hands. Several times.

Insane

OOOh

Darkelf wrote:
imagine if one took a wooden chest rotated it with siege editor and placed it standing up and changed the color of the chest to say blue it would work...also I am sure toilet paper could be added perhaps as a thrown weapon lol although maybe toilet paper would make a great shield

A T.P. version of The Newspaper sword and Armor Big smile Smile

Dwarf

Darkelf's picture
I am sure a porta pottie could be added

imagine if one took a wooden chest rotated it with siege editor and placed it standing up and changed the color of the chest to say blue it would work...also I am sure toilet paper could be added perhaps as a thrown weapon lol although maybe toilet paper would make a great shield

Porta-potie

That's the hole left by a Skrub after a dwarf comes along and makes the skrub into Chowder Big smile Cool while looking for Bone Minions.......Must Destroy all BONE MINIONS!!! Crazy Angry Angry Crazy

Insane Insane Insane Dwarf

bare_elf's picture
Rest rooms?

kathycf wrote:
You know, as I type this it occured to me that I have never seen a bathroom, outhouse or any other kind of place in Dungeon Siege for people to go pee. What happens when a tavern customer, such as Rusk, rolls up and drinks two or three gallons of ale. Wouldn't he then have to "go"...but where? And also, why am I even thinking of this?

Not too smaht now, right Elf Elfy? Tongue Wink

You're right there are no bathrooms, outhouses or other places for people to go pee in Dungeon Siege. There is also no toilet paper or porta-potties for sale in any of the shops! You can pee behind a tree, but where does one poop. Insane Insane I know I know, the restrooms are behind all those doors that can not be opened!

Insane Insane Elf elfy is more Insane Insane than Kathy Tongue Smile