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Hrmm, dating apps are everywhere it seems

kathycf's picture

I know it must be easier to at least meet people online and try dating, unlike years ago when you had to actually seek out places that a person with the qualities you are looking for might be. (Was that a run on sentence? I think it was a run on sentence). But maybe I should stop living in 1997 and see what I can do to earn some money. Judging by advertisements, there seems to be a huge school of fish in the sea, just waiting to hook that special someone.

Love Innocent

So for whomever is interested, here is a new dating app that I am working on. I
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kathycf's picture
This is true

ghastley wrote:
Dwarves may all look male, but those beards are deceptive.

I think the balding dwarves are the guys. I wouldn't check any further than beards, though. Those short folk pack a wallop!

Underground

bare_elf wrote:
Darkelf wrote:
feels sorry for the dwarves, half giants., and dryads they have no one to date

Not altogether true DE, This adventurer would date them. Wink I would even go to dinner and a movie with a goblin. Smile I wonder if you can get a wood chip in someplace incontinent from a dryad or catch termites! Puzzled

Now where did I leave that Dwarf

Elf

Dwarves are short so look down Tongue

Don't worry abought termites, it's the Wood Mites and bracken

Dwarf

ghastley's picture
Dwarves

Dwarves may all look male, but those beards are deceptive.

bare_elf's picture
Not altogether true DE

Darkelf wrote:
feels sorry for the dwarves, half giants., and dryads they have no one to date

Not altogether true DE, This adventurer would date them. Wink I would even go to dinner and a movie with a goblin. Smile I wonder if you can get a wood chip in someplace incontinent from a dryad or catch termites! Puzzled

Now where did I leave that Dwarf

Elf

Darkelf's picture
feels sorry for the dwarves,

feels sorry for the dwarves, half giants., and dryads they have no one to date

bare_elf's picture
I like your spin on things...

For the most part Kathy I like your spin on things. I must think about (after a very large bowl of Espresso) opening an "ADVENTURER EXFOLIATION STATION" somewhere in Ehb. Wink

However having to be polite and not jump on objects of my desire without first saying something polite worries me. Puzzled So comments like "I like your bat and balls" or "I like the way you swing your bat" while standing in the men's shower after a baseball game would not be right. Sad Commenting to the farmer while swimming in a lake "That is a very nice egg plant you have there" would also be wrong. Puzzled

Oh well such is life in the Kingdom of Ehb Tongue

Elf

kathycf's picture
No, no. You have put a positive spin on it

Sand doesn't remove skin, it exfoliates helping to create a smooth complexion. Exfoliation is super important and one needs to get a hold of the best products. Find a really back to nature Nature Mage to brew you up some special potions and to research the right sort of "wellness" spells for you. Remember, it's important to emphasize the word Wellness, apparently it's the thing to say in these situations.

There's no excuse for skimping over health and beauty care, no one cares about dumb excuses. "There aren't any bathrooms except for the goblins!" OR "Oh, I'm busy out saving the world, wah wah wah." Get over the goblin's prying little eyes and remember...the world can wait, an adventurer's beauty regimen just CAN'T! That goes double for men! (I don't know why, I just felt like being "controversial").

Touching back on the subject of dating for a moment, remember there's certain rules of etiquette:

Don't literally climb onto the object of your affections, no matter how much you may want "to hit that".
.

.
Don't openly gawk at an attractive person, it really pisses them off. Especially if you have a stupid look on your face. To catch a potential mates attention, try to think of something charming and subtle, even if you don't know what those words mean.
.

bare_elf's picture
There is always sand and a lake

I guess when the adventurer gets really stinky and grimy they could find a lake with a sandy beach, remove their armor. Jump in the lake then rub themselves down with sand and then rinse off. That should remove the grime, stench and possibly some skin. Removing some skin should not be a problem since armor tends to rub you raw even when you wear a leather jerkin. (I know this from experience). Wink

Then to you could always have a nature mage in your party that could not only have healing spells but a remove armor spell, a remove stink spell, and a remove grime spell. Tongue

Also there could be two new potion types. A de-stink potion and a de-grim potion Insane

Just a few ideas for shiny squeaky clean adventurers. Smile

Elf

kathycf's picture
Goblin Technology

Goblins in Dungeon Siege are more technologically advanced then the other inhabitants of Ehb, so that's probably why they have a bathroom. As for the treasure being stored there, the gobbos may have book smarts but little common sense. Who knows what really goes through those little green brains? Visions of Sugar Plums? I think not. Tongue

Our adventurers might never need to poop, but I kind of think they could use a bath every so often. Running around in plate or leather for days on end would have to make a person pretty rank. I guess the mages would be okay since they could use spells to whisk away the grime, but those melee types must sweat like crazy. Oh well, the life of an adventurer can never be easy I guess, such a burden to bear. Wink

Goblins' loo

The goblins in Ehb do have what I reckon is a grand communal bathroom, complete with steaming hot running water. They must be proud of it because it is also where they stored some of their best treasure. (How peculiar.)

Our adventurers, of course, never need to poop because they hardly ever eat solid food (as a villager in Elddim once remarked on), getting all their nourishment from potions instead.

kathycf's picture
Ooh!

Ooh! I want both a toilet paper roll to throw at enemies and a matching shield. Preferably 2 ply, for extra shieldy power.

DE, you played WoW. Did you read the forums? People would post the same types of questions every so often about the bio issue, partly because Blizzard does enjoy giving out the occasional (sometimes more than occasional) Stare poop quest. Or they used to anyway, I haven't played for a couple of years.

Amberpine Lodge... Shock

Alrighty then. On *that* note, I'm going to go wash my hands. Several times.

Insane

OOOh

Darkelf wrote:
imagine if one took a wooden chest rotated it with siege editor and placed it standing up and changed the color of the chest to say blue it would work...also I am sure toilet paper could be added perhaps as a thrown weapon lol although maybe toilet paper would make a great shield

A T.P. version of The Newspaper sword and Armor Big smile Smile

Dwarf

Darkelf's picture
I am sure a porta pottie could be added

imagine if one took a wooden chest rotated it with siege editor and placed it standing up and changed the color of the chest to say blue it would work...also I am sure toilet paper could be added perhaps as a thrown weapon lol although maybe toilet paper would make a great shield

Porta-potie

That's the hole left by a Skrub after a dwarf comes along and makes the skrub into Chowder Big smile Cool while looking for Bone Minions.......Must Destroy all BONE MINIONS!!! Crazy Angry Angry Crazy

Insane Insane Insane Dwarf

bare_elf's picture
Rest rooms?

kathycf wrote:
You know, as I type this it occured to me that I have never seen a bathroom, outhouse or any other kind of place in Dungeon Siege for people to go pee. What happens when a tavern customer, such as Rusk, rolls up and drinks two or three gallons of ale. Wouldn't he then have to "go"...but where? And also, why am I even thinking of this?

Not too smaht now, right Elf Elfy? Tongue Wink

You're right there are no bathrooms, outhouses or other places for people to go pee in Dungeon Siege. There is also no toilet paper or porta-potties for sale in any of the shops! You can pee behind a tree, but where does one poop. Insane Insane I know I know, the restrooms are behind all those doors that can not be opened!

Insane Insane Elf elfy is more Insane Insane than Kathy Tongue Smile

kathycf's picture
Siege the Date!

That's great, love it.

Hmm.

Jeriah's Profile:
Likes: Nothing
Dislikes: Everything, especially green goblin snotballs and paying customers.

Rusk, heh, he seems to be the type of guy who likes taking in the scenery (the floor under his bed), short walks on the lake front after drinking all the ale in Etan's Roost. That's when he goes flirting with a skrubb, whom he refers to as "Judy".

You know, as I type this it occured to me that I have never seen a bathroom, outhouse or any other kind of place in Dungeon Siege for people to go pee. What happens when a tavern customer, such as Rusk, rolls up and drinks two or three gallons of ale. Wouldn't he then have to "go"...but where? And also, why am I even thinking of this?

Not too smaht now, right Elf Elfy? Tongue Wink

Dungeon Siege Fanatic's picture
Pretty good

Siege the date, that’s pretty good!

I’m kinda interested to hear what Rusks entry would be.
“Long walks on the beach... aaaand getting really drunk right after a krug raid.”

Klandank's picture
Captain Obvious would suggest:

kathycf wrote:
So, I am stuck on a name for the "app" (yuck) though. Any suggestions?

Siege the Date?

(I wonder what Jeriah's entry looks like.)

bare_elf's picture
apphazard

kathycf wrote:
There are many words that I despise, too many to list here. You can feel safe from any of my ranting and proceed to read the post You are going to read it, right?

So, I am stuck on a name for the "app" (yuck) though. Any suggestions? Hehehe, as if I could build a program or application for anything. I can barely program our coffee maker.

But otherwise I am sorta smart, really. Really really! Or as say we say in Massachusetts "wicked smaht". Unfortunately this sort of smahtness has only qualified me to smash (crush!) friends and family at any kind of trivia or word game. They hate me now and refuse to play with me.

It seems as if I am fishing for compliments (i"m not, actually) as well as bragging a little. But, well. I have to have something! to brag about! Sad Puzzled Shock Shocked

Insane Tongue :Cool


You are wicked smaht Kathy. Trivia is your specialty based on all of your wicked smaht blog posts. Now for an app, that renames application to some other word that means application. So all dating apps would be dating implementations. Insane Big smile

Elf

kathycf's picture
I hate the word "Apps"

There are many words that I despise, too many to list here. You can feel safe from any of my ranting and proceed to read the post You are going to read it, right?

So, I am stuck on a name for the "app" (yuck) though. Any suggestions? Hehehe, as if I could build a program or application for anything. I can barely program our coffee maker.

But otherwise I am sorta smart, really. Really really! Or as say we say in Massachusetts "wicked smaht". Unfortunately this sort of smahtness has only qualified me to smash (crush!) friends and family at any kind of trivia or word game. They hate me now and refuse to play with me.

It seems as if I am fishing for compliments (i"m not, actually) as well as bragging a little. But, well. I have to have something! to brag about! Sad Puzzled Shock Shocked

Insane Tongue :Cool