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Old timey ads...

kathycf's picture

The olden days sure must have been fun!
Smile Smile Smile
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Stuffed Girl Heads
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Quote:
One of the nicest qualities is that they don't talk back!

I'm just curious about who came up with this idea, why they thought it would be popular and the workings of the mind who would purchase such an item.

The price seems fair, only $2.98. And well, sure, you could make jokes about Mary being a wallflower and how Karen is always trying to get ahead (groan), and there is a choice of hair color. All compelling reasons to buy a disembodied plastic girl's head thingy. But still...I get the feeling those trophy heads are going to be the only remotely female thing in this person's home. Plus don't forget that those vacant lifeless eyes will be watching you. Always watching.

Shock


She seems to have a look of terror mixed with delight that she is wearing this...transparent bucket thingy on her head, despite of OR maybe because of the glamour trim. Maybe she's singing, maybe she's screaming, durned if I know.

Large images below so I put thumbnails: clickyclicky

A special type lipstick
You really owe it to yourself to see the full size version of this ad. Not only will you avoid that wet paint look, your lips be compelling AND thrilling. Not to mention they will "match the pulsing color of the human blood". Any Game of thrones fans? Remember when Daeny is pregnant and goes through the ritual of eating the raw horse's heart?
Yeah...

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Keep her where she belongs...

I guess someone really likes 1970's men's shoes. But if where she belongs is sprawled on the floor admiring shoes, how is she supposed to get her sandwich making done?

I suppose if I could lay around on the floor all day I would probably stare at shoes also. Then my boyfriend would come home and ask me if I missed taking my meds and also mentions that I have Dorito crumbs on my chest. Well, you can't sweep the floor if you are too busy lolling on it looking at shoes. Duh!
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Woah! Stop the presses! A vibrating what ??!?


This item seems so practical and innovative. A vibrating bra! And it's great for relaxing! Take that Victoria's Secret with your fancy schmancy underwires and such.

How to talk on the Phone

Talking on the phone is srs business. Study this practical guide carefully to avoid making serious telephone mishaps.
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Blow in her face and she'll follow you anywhere.

Ahahaha ha ha ha ha *cough* wait...AHAHAHA Ok, r i g h t.

Are you bashful?
This final ad shows true compassion and takes a forthright position on social anxiety. Shame! Just because you have nothing to be embarrassed about doesn't mean you can't still be humiliated! Shame those sad sacks to get out there and get socializing. Nobody likes a stay-at-home!

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bare_elf's picture
Gaah!!!

sigofmugmort1 wrote:
My mind is definitely lost in a gutter somewhere Tongue Party Insane Dwarf

If there where not gutters to get lost in my life would be very very dull. I love gutters, because everyone in the gutter is just as twisted as you are, maybe in a different direction but still twisted.

Crazy Party Insane Dance Elf

kathycf's picture
Gaah!

sigofmugmort1 wrote:
My mind is definitely lost in a gutter somewhere Tongue Party Insane Dwarf

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." Wink
- Oscar Wilde

"Gaah" reminded me of this really bad movie called Eegah. Just sort of popped into my head (things pop in and out w/ alarming frequency). The movie was featured on MST3k, was pretty funny. Eegah is a caveman who kidnaps this girl and of course, hilarity ensues.

Well, it seems I have stumbled into one of my frequent ramblings, so gonna wrap this post up.

Insane Tongue

Gaah

My mind is definitely lost in a gutter somewhere Tongue Party Insane Dwarf

kathycf's picture
eek!

Lili, I just thought of something about your post, but I think it's a bit too...something. Checketh thy inbox.

Smile

bare_elf's picture
something bigger in her life

kathycf wrote:

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So, just what kind of womanly shenanigans could a sensitive young wife get caught up in to commit such an offense? Was she guilty of treason? Or was it...murder!? (Professor Plum in the kitchen with a rolling pin??).

Apparently not. Stare But I think it isn't a coincidence that her husband's name is "Dick".

Maybe the shnanigans she was involved with was searching for something bigger and her husband discovered she had found another bigger DICK.

Elf

kathycf's picture
Self conscious is exactly the effect

People NEED to feel self conscious, insecure, awkward and so on. Otherwise, the advertising companies can't convince people of their own inherent yuckiness and thus lose money. Besides, those stuffed girl heads don't sell themselves, you know!

To wit: (thumbnails)

Nobody loves a fat girl!
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Nobody loves a skinny girl!
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Kind of like Schrodinger's cat. If we sweep up some woman lying on the floor ogling shoes and stick her in a box with cookies, she could be too fat or too thin at the same time... Why it's mind boggling! Or something.
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Armhole odor
I'm trying to think of a person who might actually do this. Can't...quite...believe. Nope, it's just totally stupid. I guess they didn't have antiperspirant in the old timey days.

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A Grave Womanly Offense. Shock

According to Merriam Webster, the word "grave" in this context means:

Quote:

c : likely to produce great harm or danger a grave mistake.

d : significantly serious : considerable, great grave importance.


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So, just what kind of womanly shenanigans could a sensitive young wife get caught up in to commit such an offense? Was she guilty of treason? Or was it...murder!? (Professor Plum in the kitchen with a rolling pin??).

Apparently not. Stare But I think it isn't a coincidence that her husband's name is "Dick".

sigofmugmort1 wrote:
If the girl has the energy to make a sandwich I didn't do my job right Wink Innocent Big smile

Insane Dwarf

Well, gosh! Tongue

*edit* Oops, I almost forgot. Here is "special" lipstick in GoT:
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Aww, just lovely. Reminds me of the pulsing color of the human blood.

OOOOOkAAY

Telling someone with social Avoidance Disorder they should be ashamed??? right,

If the girl has the energy to make a sandwich I didn't do my job right Wink Innocent Big smile

Insane Dwarf

bare_elf's picture
Self Conscious

Based on the other ads found in your post I can think of several things to be nervous and embarrassed about. Like laying on the floor naked looking at shoes. It would be even more embarrassing to do the same at a metro station, and the crumbs on your chest would be different too.

Embarrassing is using an analog telephone with a cord. I can just imagine today's kids trying to figure out how to text, surf the web or read emails. Also falling on their face when they attempt to walk about and the cord pulls them up short.

Stuffed Girls heads are just plain gross! If I were to discover one in a man's house I would collect some of his parts for my trophy case said Ms. Bobbit. Big smile

Elf